Basil?
by AMysteriousWoman711
Summary: Osgood may have let slip a certain Time Lord's name to a certain brunette companion...how will the Doctor react? This is pure fluff. And I think we could all use more fluff these days, don't you? Let me know.


**Summary: Osgood is usually quite good at keeping secrets, but she just -had- to pass this one on to Clara...(it was too good not to, honestly) and this is what happens when she does. Told from the Doctor's POV. 12/Clara fluff, friendship, & humor. My favorite kind of story. ;o)**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **A/N: "The Zygon Inversion" was, in my humble opinion, one of Peter's best ever. He was just amazing to watch. Truly channeling "The Oncoming Storm", especially in THAT scene toward the end. HOLY CRAP. But meanwhile, his scenes with Osgood were just...hilarious & magical. And I couldn't help but make one of their conversations into head-cannon. This is the result.**

" **Basil?"**

"Basil?"

The unmistakable sound of Clara's voice suddenly made its physical presence known in a hallway door that connected the console room with the interior of the rest of the ship. And she was smiling wickedly.

'Oh no', thought the Doctor, caught off-guard by the question, but now trying to mentally brace himself, 'This cannot be good.'

It was a few hours after the events of the day had worn down and he had been relaxing somewhat, idling the TARDIS in a relatively safe bit of space. Hours after he had successfully averted disaster on a global scale with the Zygons and 'Bonnie' or 'evil Clara', as he called her, and for once he was looking forward to a bit of downtime while his companion had wandered off, to go read or do whatever it is she did while he re-calibrated...or 'moped about', as she called it.

Now, as she entered the console room, phone in hand & texting quick replies to someone, she half-skipped, half-walked her way over to him, sidling up close to him, close enough to brush sides playfully, before jumping back to lean casually against the railing, impishly grinning away, asking him point blanke, about his supposed 'first name'.

"Your name...your **real** name...the name you never tell anyone...never even told me...is Basil?"

He couldn't make it out. Her tone was teasing, but also curious. Also slightly hurt? Her eyes, so soft & inquisitive, peering up at him. He was getting better at this, reading people's emotions, and especially hers, he prided himself on that, at least. But what was her game anyway? Should he lie to her? Or tell the truth for once? Or just play along...and see what happens?

"Er...yes. Yes it is. And where, may I ask, have you gotten this highly sensitive bit of information from, hmm? Oh, let me guess: a person at UNIT told you? Someone with a big long scarf and glasses, no doubt?"

"Oooh...my source would like to remain confidential. UNIT rules, not mine. Sorry." She did not sound very apologetic, he noted. If anything, she was more smug. Obviously enjoying the power she held. He chuckled bemusedly at her attempts to be mysterious.

"And obviously, I need to destroy or dismantle your mobile as you and Osgood have clearly been swapping notes about me again. So, if you would just..." He made a swipe for her phone, but she dodged him, ducking away at the last second, side-stepping out of harm's way and continuing all the while with her texting. Impressive feat, if it wasn't so annoying.

"Nice try, Doctor. Bit slow, old man. Back to the matter at hand, though...seriously? Your name is Basil? Like, you're not puttin' me on or somethin' are you? That's honestly your actual name? Like, for real?"

He scratched his chin a bit in thoughtfulness for a moment, as if he couldn't remember if it was or not. "Yes...well, I think it is...I do believe it might have been...yes...must be...not that I ever liked it very much...why? Were you expecting something different?" He couldn't help but allow some of his irritation to be voiced out loud at this point, after all, it's not as if he could help what his parents had called him so long ago...

Seeing as he was going on the defense, Clara back-tracked, uttering, "No...no, no. Basil is...fine. Really. A bit...boring..." Uh-oh. He was doing his "owl face". "But...but...totally fine. Basil's a great name."

She was lying. Badly. But smiling innocently. Like she wanted to be caught. Oh, Clara...you are messing with fire here and you know it.

"Sooooo..." she persisted when his 'Scottish silence' was getting to be too much, "...that would make you...what? 'Doctor Time Lord Basil' or somethin...?" She was going for serious dead-pan & failing miserably. Her expression was doing this weird...facial twitch thing...that he didn't like. She was trying to wind him up! This was insufferable. Or she was. Or both. Dear Lord. Oh, the horror of it all. The humiliation! He would never live this down now...oh, he was so done with this conversation. He made a mental note to himself to have some words with Osgood the next time he saw her.

"Yeeeesssss..." He let out a long frustrated sigh at last, "Indeed it would seem so. It's not important, though. Can we talk about something else now? Like, for example, how you keep doing that thing with your eyes? It's quite distracting...and eerie, actually. You know, your evil twin, I think, perfected it..."

But she would not be deterred. Worse, it felt like to him that she almost read his mind because all of a sudden, she could not keep a straight face if she had tried.

"Okay then...whatever you say...Basil." And the dam burst out, long and loud. And all he could manage to do was to roll his eyes and walk away.

Meanwhile, the echoes of Clara's laughter could be heard inside the TARDIS for weeks afterward...and despite the fact that this was the very reason for his stubborn insistence of anonymity for all 2000+ years of his existence, the Doctor found that he could not but good-naturedly endure the endless ribbing and teasing at his behalf far longer than he should've, simply because the sound of it was music to his ears, and could not bear to tell her to knock it off for fear that if he did, the sound would stop and then, ….so would she.

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

 **A/N: Sorry for the ominous ending, but well...you know. Hope somebody out there likes this. If you do, please tell me so. It really helps.**


End file.
